What could have been done better for my 1st pregnancy?

It was July 2016, I did not get my regular periods that month and just got spotting instead of a period. I found through Google search that it may be due to pregnancy and my pregnancy results came out positive when I tested. I was really excited about this!

We went to a doctor immediately, did all the tests, but I was anxious that I was not having any morning sickness or vomiting. I thought that something was wrong since I didn’t have vomiting. My doctor said that was fine, but there was some kind of hormone imbalance as my Beta HCG(hormone during pregnancy) didn’t show much rise. My doctor prescribed the medicine for that and in my first ultrasound, the embryo was perfectly fine.

I wanted to travel to my home for the rest of the pregnancy. I was getting slight spotting sometimes all throughout my 1st 3 months, so when I checked with my doctor she told me to avoid traveling home (my native place which was a 1-hour flight) at least in the beginning stage. I didn’t give much importance and I took a flight to my native place.

My doctor had also suggested taking an appointment for Nuchal Translucency (NT) scan and a double marker test by 12 weeks to test for possible risks for genetic or other problems. It is a very important scan but I didn’t know the importance of NT scan at that time. I thought of going to my native place and doing it.

I went to my native place and I was very happy to be there with my parents, brother and after a while, my husband also got a remote work opportunity and came there.

By the end of the 1st trimester, we went to a movie. After some time I saw that I was bleeding as in a normal period while I was in the theater watching the movie. I got very tensed. I didn’t want to lose the child. We left the theater rushed to a hospital there, took a scan and the baby was fine except there was a fluid collection that caused the bleeding.

I also inquired about the NT scan but appointments were available only after some time, by that time my doctor said the time for taking the NT scan would have been already over as it was to be taken within 13.5 weeks.

When I checked my doctor after the bleeding, even though the baby was fine, my doctor was not very optimistic about how this will be.

Scans were done in 14th and 22nd week. Everything was fine except I had the fluid collection at 14 weeks, but not there at the 22 weeks scan.

My doctor had advised bed rest, so I took a long leave from work but didn’t take much of bed rest. I was not aware of anything related to pregnancy and I didn’t care much as I thought everything is perfectly normal since I didn’t lose the baby in the 1 st trimester.

My mother used to ask me if I was able to get movements. When I touched my abdomen, I was able to hear some kind of beat that I misinterpreted to be fetal movement. The doctor also used to ask if I got movements, I used to say yes as I was hearing something like a heartbeat every time.

Ideally, I was supposed to feel the movements without touching the abdomen. But I didn’t feel much of a difference even after 24 weeks. Since I used to get the heartbeat-like thing every time I thought everything was normal.

I had a huge craving for a food called ‘Pathrode’ which was made of a kind of leaf. So around 5 or 6 months when I went to my grandma's house, she had made Pathrode. I could not resist my cravings. Usually, people say that one should not eat Pathrode during pregnancy as this leaf can vary the level of some hormones. My grandma warned me of that. I didn’t take that seriously as I was fully confident that nothing will happen to the child as it already passed the 1st trimester.

Everything was fine, I went regularly for checkups, but I didn’t tell the doctor that I was not feeling movements without touching my abdomen because I didn’t know about that. Apparently, I didn’t have any symptoms like bleeding or pain.

When I went for the checkup at 33 weeks, the doctor told me to immediately go for a scan after checking, when I got the results, I was shocked and devastated to find that the fetus was dead inside.

Pain was induced and it was taken out as a normal delivery.

I joined work after my maternity leave and I found that I didn’t have any work to do or projects I could work on. I tried to get into some projects by asking my managers but they were also helpless. My reporting manager, after 2 months said that I may have to resign by the end of the month as there were no new projects coming in. That was another shock which I didn’t expect.

It’s still a mystery how I lost the child in spite of the fetal autopsy done. I don’t know if the baby had any problems or if the issue was with my system.

We could not completely control the things around us, but I could have done a few things :

• If I had done the NT scan, any abnormalities with the baby could have found out and actions would have been taken accordingly
• I must have taken bed rest properly
• I should not have been eaten any risky food at any stage
• I was in the assumption that no other complications can affect the baby in the 2nd and 3rd trimester and didn’t take anything seriously
• Most importantly, I must have asked my doctor how I can feel the movements and must have discussed how many movements per day was normal. If I had discussed that doctor could have done scans more frequently and taken the baby out if it was not in a position to sustain within the uterus. It is called preterm labor. Although it’s not very easy and there can be complications, there was a small possibility of getting the child.

Anyways, losing the child and the job back to back made me stronger. I found that my expectations were always putting me into trouble and I stopped expecting things.

Now I came to Canada, got a job, after 3 years, pregnant again and I am at almost 4 months now!

This is an advice to all my friends who are pregnant and planning to get pregnant:

• Never take your pregnancy lightly or too anxiously
• Always be aware of the problems you could get at each stage not to get anxious but to know the symptoms so that you can check with your doctor immediately
• It is always good to stay away from foods which can possibly harm your child
• If you see unusual symptoms like bleeding (even a little bit) or unusual pain, peculiar vaginal discharge, or itching, immediately consult your doctor
• Be regular on all scans which doctor advises you
• If you don’t feel movements by 22 weeks or 24 weeks let your doctor know and ask your doctor about the way you can monitor fetal movements after 24 weeks (because I have read that we are supposed to feel fetal movements every day after 24 weeks)

To share the knowledge I have gained so far, I have already published 2 articles: ‘Pre-pregnancy and early pregnancy period’ and ‘Can food taken during pregnancy influence the color of the baby’. I am also planning to publish articles related to pregnancy diet and nutrition, routine scans to be done and their benefits, Complications that could occur in all the 3 trimesters, Pregnancy and COVID, etc.

I wish all success to everyone!